Guest written by Tacticool Girlfriend
Last Updated: 05/20/2026
Arm the Dolls focuses on statute-based legal information, but navigating gun ownership involves more than just knowing the law. This guide series features community experts sharing practical knowledge on topics we don’t cover in our legal resources.
Our first guest contributor, Tacticool Girlfriend, is a firearms educator who has been making content online since 2020. If you’ve seen a firearms video involving a girl wearing a mask with on-point eye makeup, you’ve seen TG.
Her commitment to building an alternative voice in the space, one specifically written to the concerns of minorities and marginalized communities, has been an inspiration to this project. We’re thrilled to bring her guidance to our community.
Before you walk in.
For the uninitiated, walking into a gun store for the first time can often be daunting. For people who find themselves outside of the usual demographics of mainstream gun culture, especially minorities, this experience can even be intimidating to say the least.
Just know that if you find yourself at this crossroad that you are not alone! Don’t fret, I will try to at least give you some guidance to help make this as painless of a process as possible.
I will preface by being that annoying gal repeating the trite slogan of “community is everything” over and over again until I die, but here we are, and I’m going to say it again – community is in fact, everything.
Yes, even when it comes to simply going to a store and buying something. There is no need to reinvent the wheel – as I said, you’re not alone. Countless people just like you have been treading the same path you’re walking since gun stores have existed.
That said, before you even set foot in one, it may be wise to ask friends and other people who share affinity with you and are experienced with your local gun store ecosystem which gun stores, if any, may be friendlier to you than others. Choosing a particular gun store in and of itself may alleviate many uncomfortable apprehensions and help avoid awkward conversations that you never wanted to be a part of, let alone unnecessary scrutiny as you try to simply make a transaction and run a background check. If you’re trans, simple things like staff that are considerate about gendering you correctly can go a very long way in creating a positive experience for you.
Obviously, not everyone finds themselves in the fortunate position of being able to choose the perfect gun store that will curate the perfect experience for them. Many times, people will simply need to settle.
For what it’s worth, at least in my experience, there is usually a baseline of courtesy extended to any and all customers, no matter who they are. At the end of the day (for better and worse) the gun store’s primary concern is making sales, taking your money, and giving you a product, with as little friction as possible. Even if the courtesy is superficial, you can likely rest assured that you will most likely walk away feeling like you made a fairly routine shopping trip.
Nothing is guaranteed here, but I have found with a lot of first timers that their experiences did go better than they had imagined they would.
Even so, if you’re feeling intimidated or unconfident, bring a friend with you – that can go a long way towards easing the tension or apprehension you may be feeling.
The ATF shaped elephant in the room.
One caveat that can be at best a minor inconvenience and at worst can upend your entire purchase is the background check.
If you are purchasing a firearm through a seller who is a Federal Firearms License holder (i.e., pretty much every gun store), instead of a private sale that doesn’t require a background check and/or FFL IF it is even permitted in your locale/state, you will need to fill out the ATF form 4473 and run said background check.
Unfortunately, the latest news is that the ATF has proposed a number of changes in policy that include culture war stipulations that run contrary to how it has been in recent history. Among these changes, the sex field on the 4473 will be required to reflect gender assigned at birth.
(See ATD’s blog on the subject, ATF Publishes Proposed Forms Rule, found here)
The issue now is that this can create a catch 22 for people who have had their gender marker legally changed on their government ID, such as the one they will be using in their background check. While a mismatch between what an affirming ID says and what’s on the 4473 may not result in a failed background check, the dealer could potentially use that mismatch as a reason to reject the sale. We don’t know what discretion will ultimately be left up to dealers, but they always have the right to refuse a sale.
If you simply ignore the proposed ATF directive and do not enter your assigned gender at birth so that it reflects what’s on your ID, you run the risk of being charged with a felony for a firearm purchase with an improperly submitted 4473. (Arm the Dolls recommends following all laws and directives at all times. Whenever the final rule becomes the law of the land, it needs to be followed.)
All this said, these are PROPOSED changes, and the public comment window on these proposals ends on August 4th, 2026 before they can even go into motion.
I cannot say for certain how things will take shape, how and if it will be enforced, and what the future holds in general, but it’s best to simply make your purchases before final implementation if possible just to be safe, if any of this might affect you. Expect that sometime late this year, early next.
Choosing your first firearm.
Next, I’d like to give some general advice if you’re not sure what to buy. Again, this is very generic advice for people who aren’t certain in hopes that I can at least narrow down the overwhelming list of options out there for you.
Your use case will always be the final determining factor – don’t burn your money on aesthetics and obscure luxury items unless that is your only concern here. Are you planning on concealed carrying? Do you just need a “night stand” handgun? A general home defense rifle? These are all very different things.
If one can only afford one firearm, a handgun will most likely be the chosen means.
As always, get the best tool for the job – whatever firearm you purchase should serve your specific purposes. That said, most will turn to handguns for self-defense more often than not, as they can be versatile and cover a large gamut of what place a firearm may hold in most self defense-plans. While not necessarily everyone may choose to conceal carry a pistol, this is easily one of the most common roles of firearms in everyday self-defense.
Choosing a handgun.
For handguns, you’re going to want the largest pistol that you can comfortably hold and/or conceal if that is a consideration for you. Do not get hung up on “what feels best in the hands” as much as “can you hold it and manipulate the controls? Is it the biggest one you can reasonably hold/conceal?”.
Larger handguns will recoil less violently in the hands by absorbing that force better through a little more weight, distance of slide travel, more gripping surface, and will more easily facilitate common ammunition types and capacity.
Some specifications I generally recommend to start with:
- Chambered in 9mm
- Striker-fired
- Polymer
- Glock, Smith & Wesson M&P 2.0/Shield, or Walther PDP for specific proven brands and models to put at the top of the list
Long range? Long rifles.
If you need something with more power and range, and/or simply something that is easier to shoot than a handgun, look no further than a rifle.
If you live in the US, the answer will always be the ubiquitous AR-15, and nothing else so long as your state permits it or its derivatives.
Assembling your own if you’re savvy may not only help you save a little bit of money, but you’ll also have something built to your specifications. It’s important to note that the lower (the serialized part of the firearm that is legally the actual firearm) is a critical piece of this puzzle, but so long as it’s in spec, just about any will make for a great platform to build from whereas your upper will become a lot more subjective to your use case – just don’t go building an AR pistol/short barreled rifle with a barrel under 10.5″ in length for 5.56 unless you hate useful ballistics and just want to make big fireballs that will blind you in darker settings.
If you’re unsure, here’s some good specifications to start with:
- Chambered in 5.56 (versatile, effective, extremely low recoil, with many types of commercial loads available)
- 16″ barrel if you don’t already have a preference for barrel length
- Has an M-LOK handguard to easily attach accessories and not needlessly heavy like a picatinny handguard
- Smith & Wesson, Aero Precision, or Palmetto State Armory if you’re on a tight budget, BCM if you can afford better (my go-to is a BCM upper on an Aero M4E1 lower)
As with all of these things, you may not appreciate it yet, but reliable and boring is good.
For my first modern carbine, I bought an Arsenal SLR-104FR – one of the nicest civilian AK-74M pattern rifles imported to the US, and now it’s little more than a chunk of metal and plastic that forever sits at the back of my gun safe. Compared to my ARs, it has inferior ergonomics, is less precise, has less surfaces to mount accessories, let alone takes uncommon magazines and ammunition that can be difficult to find with less commercial loadings to choose from.
Getting something you can easily find spare parts for maintenance can go a long way. Finding something that takes common magazines, such as Glock or standard AR mags, will not only be easier to source, but will drastically cut costs in the long run – magazines are consumables, they will wear out and need to be replaced.
Be pragmatic here unless you simply aren’t intending to do anything practical or life-saving with firearms in the first place – otherwise, you don’t need unnecessary barriers in hardware to worry about. We have enough to worry about as it is.
A word on shotguns.
Now for the wildcard – shotguns. If you’re duck hunting or breaching doors, maybe you need one.
Otherwise, they only have a more difficult manual of arms, more recoil, less magazine capacity, and otherwise are relegated to niche applications than something like the common AR-15. Despite what some will claim, birdshot is not a good self-defense round and any other kind of loading you’d use will over-penetrate drywall just as much as 5.56 or 9mm generally will.
They’re never my first, nor second recommendation for new shooters nor self-defense, let alone home defense. A rifle or handgun with proper defensive ammunition will generally be better for this application.
The non-negotiables.
I also want to quickly cover a few essential accessories.
Accessories may sound like an afterthought for later, but setting up your firearm properly from the get-go, especially if you are potentially acquiring one for self defense, will be crucial. Out of the box, it’s better to think of a firearm as a blank canvas for which you further fill in the gaps and flesh out the rest of the hardware for your needs.
For handguns, be sure to get a good holster.
Everyone and their mother makes good kydex holsters – a common plastic holster, and pretty universally the go-to for almost everyone for good reason. Just do your research and try a few if you can.
Optics have basically become a necessity and will make any shooter, even the most experienced irons shooters, faster due to their simplicity in aiming principles.
I will die on the hill that irons have long been obsolete and unnecessary to learn on as primary sight, but with the caveat being that it couldn’t hurt to learn irons after you’ve gained some experience and that they can be relegated as a backup sighting system. For new shooters especially, even basic optics like red dot sights will simply be easier to train on than irons on any kind of gun.
If you’re worried about battery life, so long as you can mark a calendar with a reminder to replace your battery when it’s time, it’s a non-issue. If you have severe astigmatism, have tried every reflex sight under the sun, and the starburst pattern is filling up the entire picture plane of the optic, or you simply refuse to use batteries, consider a prism sight with an etched reticle to soothe your eyeballs and/or fear of electrons.
Even though there are plenty of reliable and relatively affordable optics on the market right now, you simply may not be able to afford one at this moment, and that’s okay! Use what you’ve got, but just know that this is ideally the way to go for most.
Trusted brands include but are not limited to Holosun, Sig, Vortex, and Primary arms for many of their more budget-friendly options, and others such as Aimpoint, Trijicon, Eotech, Leupold, and Nightforce if you prefer and can afford their more premium offerings.
Another essential accessory would be a weapon light. No firearm in the age of weapon lights is complete without one in my book.
It’s usually dark at least half of the day and there’s indoor spaces that simply may not have sufficient illumination – you do not want to assume that you will be able to properly identify, let alone aim at a target in the dark. A weapon light is a very cheap little bit of insurance that can make your firearm the life-protecting tool it’s intended to be as opposed to a liability.
Whether it’s a handgun or a rifle, put a light on it that fits well and can be easily activated with your support hand. Without getting into all the technical details and mechanics, just know that Streamlight is a great budget brand, and you can always splurge on Surefire, Modlite, and Cloud Defensive if you want – all of these will generally do the trick just fine.
And now, the work.
Got it? I know that was a lot. There’s much to consider here, but I sincerely hope this guide was helpful to at least alleviate some of your concerns and demystify this process a bit.
Being a responsible firearm owner is a heavy burden to some degree, and it should be. These are not toys, they are a last resort that I hope none of us will ultimately need.
Beyond the matter of choosing a firearm and acquiring it, so much more goes into regular training, advancing and maintaining competence, and building not only a discipline of skill, but a constant awareness of what you’re even doing with such machinery.
Considering safe storage, the state of your mental health (and creating a plan with loved ones and friends to hand off slides, firing pins, bolts, etc., before you’re struggling with keeping firearms safely at home), and the safety of those who live with you and go to the range with you is an enormous task.
That said, I believe that if approached in a very intentional way, this can also be an incredibly rewarding pursuit.
Maybe at the end of the day, you just had fun going to the range with your friends. I’m going to say it again – community is everything, and this can also be a great social activity building these skills together.
Don’t let this just be a chore, but another way to squeeze out some joy and self-empowerment out of this dystopia. It sure has been for me, and I wish nothing less for you!
Thank you for taking the time to read and please take care of not only yourself, but each other. Much love to you all.
Tacticool Girlfriend’s YouTube videos provide a fantastic starting point for many aspects of firearms ownership. We highly recommend checking out the offerings on her channel found here, and would specifically point you towards her video, The Basics of Firearms Safety, found here. You can find all of her social media links here.